Dear 2018...

As the year comes to an end, there's a lot of things I can say. 
Some of them are positive, some of them are negative. But all of them taught me something. 

I had some debilitating lows this year and there were moments that I didn't think I would get through. 
My anxiety reached an all time peak and there were days I couldn't leave my house because of it. 
Residual crap from when I lost my job two years ago carried over into this year and came to a head in what can only be described as one of the most stressful, anxiety-inducing, and depressing moments of my life. 
These were the moments that showed me what I'm made of, and showed me who I can count on when everything is falling apart. 

There were high points as well, most revolving around BAM and everything to do with her. She became one of the only bright spots in an otherwise dismal year. 
My friends and family were the reason I rallied and made it to the end of the year. 

Now as I'm staring down 2019 I'm feeling hopeful for what it has to bring. 
It's going to be better I can feel it, a fresh start and all that. 

I have a few goals, (resolutions) for 2019 that I figure I'll share here... 

1. Be a little nicer to myself,  sometimes (okay a lot of times) I can be harder on myself than I deserve and I'm going to try to put an end to that in 2019
2. Write more,  this one's self explanatory, writing is something I'm passionate about and I want to do it more often, so watch this space.
3. Read more,  this year I can only remember finishing 1 book. I love to read and don't do it often enough, so next year I want to read more. 


That's it, at least for right now. 

Thanks 2018 you taught me a lot. 
Bring it on 2019 I'm ready for you.